Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
