Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
