I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
