Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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