I just made out with a guy for $7.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
