you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
