I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Hippo gnu deer
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
