I need help removing her.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
