The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
