Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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