Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
