They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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