We won't sleep together?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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