I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
