Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
