if you like me you must not know who I am
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
There's always time for handjobs
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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