I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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