Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
