..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
