Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Randomize
