I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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