Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
