I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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