Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
