My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
