my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
