I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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