AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize