Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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