Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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