I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
