Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
