i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize