I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
