very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Found your dick twin last night
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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