6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
false alarm, still single
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
