My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
