i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
