That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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