She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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