I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
