we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
