Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
