Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
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