Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm too high and old for this...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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