Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
last night I used snow as a chaser
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
