I smell stomach acid.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
