I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
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He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
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I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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