I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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