my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
There's even glitter on my cock...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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