Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize