I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
