so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
