If that was your dad, he is hot
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
