We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
