Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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