Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
