How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
