shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
