dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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