I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
