I'm lost and stupid without you.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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