I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
you never un-have a 4some
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
